Little Mary's Little Blog

Little Thoughts, Little Seeds, Big Consequences

I know. It's been a while. I have been a little bad. I have been doing a lot of thinking. Maybe a little too much. Ever since that whole thing with the bean. It's like my brain got bigger. And now it's got room for more thoughts...

Roses have it easy. Little rose seeds, I mean. You know why they are so successful in becoming roses? Because their tiny little brains have room for only one tiny little thought: rose. That's how come they become roses. You can get a little rose seed and mix it up with a bunch of carrot seeds and plant them all in the ground and the little rose seed will still grow up to be a rose. It doesn't wonder what it would be like to be a carrot maybe it would be better being a carrot carrots don't have thorns carrots get to be all sorts of things, from carrot cake to salads and stew. It can't. Its little brain has no room for such thoughts. The most it can accommodate is a color. Red rose. White rose. Pink rose. And, occasionally, blue rose.

Humans would be so lucky... We want to be everything. We are scared of missing out. Of being short changed. Of making the wrong choice. What if I wear the red dress and Little John doesn't like red? I want to be a doctor but ballerinas are so pretty. I'm tired of waiting, I want to leave, but what if Godot shows up? I guess that's just part of being a human. It must be why we have hearts. We get to follow it when our brain gets confused. Our hearts seem to always know what we want. Deep down. We can feel them beat faster. There's no mistaking that. We just ought to learn to listen to them. Shhhh. Listen...

Three Little Lessons from Sloth

Here's a little lesson in patience, faith and love. From a little guy whose name is considered to be one of the seven deadly sins. Sloths live in Central America. On the top of trees. They almost never come down. They mostly eat little leaves. They move very slowly in order to save energy. Because they don't eat much. The fact that they move so slowly makes them very easy prey. And that is why they rarely come down from the trees. But once a week they come down to pee and poop.

Lesson number one, Patience: Can you imagine not going to the bathroom for a whole week? You are holding it in because you know about the dangers of being eaten by a jaguar or an eagle. So you wait until you can't possibly hold it in any longer. And then you start your way down the tree trunk. But you can't run because you have to save your energy for the climb back.

Lesson number two, Faith: You also move extra slowly because your mama told you that it actually makes it harder for the predators to see you. It helps you blend in with the tree trunk. You believe her because you have no choice.

Lesson number three, Love: What would make a creature, given all these excrutiating circumstances, come down the tree in order to go to the bathroom? Why doesn't it just poop and pee from where it lives? From the top of the tree? Surely it is because it does not want to surprise anyone down on the ground. It risks its life. Out of love. That's a little lesson silly little birds would greatly profit from!

Little Little, the Mad and the Twiddle

Okay. So I am the mad. The little mad. Because I don't like to twiddle. My little thumbs. (And because I write things like this little blog.) But anyway. I am so afraid to miss any little opportunity that I say yes to every little thing and every little one. Because I don't want to be left behind. I don't want someone else to do it and make a fortune of it before me. Yes. I may not look it but I am a fiercely competitive little person. Mostly because I often forget that there is more than enough out there for everyone. Of everything. Except maybe time... No. There is even plenty of time. Time and Space. No straight lines. La la la. I am a little exhausted. What will we do when we finally stop resisting the fact that the Universe is not at all what we have always believed it to be? I am terrified to step onto this invisible bridge. Was my grandmother really a vampire? Is Baked Bean my doppelganger? Who is Beloved Leader, really? Is everything around me reflections of my tiny little self?

I am going to bed now...

A Little Tired I Am

Sometimes I want things to happen very very fast. Not a little fast, instantaneously. Sometimes I feel like I just work, work, work. You know? I'm not whining. I am very happy with what I have. But I want more! And I work for more. I run for more. But sometimes it seems I'm running on a silly, little treadmill. I'm in a terrific little shape but in the end I'm still standing in the same little place. This is how I was feeling when I was trying to get my Blue Roses. And then I got them! And now I want more. So, what did I do to get them? What was the lesson? I am not sure...

The answer turned out to be right under my nose. But I hadn't seen it. Not until I got stung in the head by the Bean, turned into a hot air balloon, saw God, met Santa's cousin, almost drowned, found Beloved Leader and came back home. So the lesson was, in order to see the answer to my little problem, I had to open my little
eyes in a particular little way. In order to open my little eyes in a particular little way I had to experience certain little things. Mostly things I did not want to experience. Things I resisted experiencing. Which only made things harder and crazier.

It seems when there is something we must do that we resist doing the universe goes out of its way to make us do it. Whether it is by sending aliens to capture us, drawing crop circles or creating giant baked beans that come out of the sky dressed as bumblebees to sting us on our little heads. I hope I can figure this one out on my own before the Universe deems it necessary to send another crazy creature to "help me out"...

Simple Little Truth

Whether you run, walk or crawl. Fly or float. If you just keep going, you WILL get there.

Heavy Little Post Number Three

These first two posts are a little "heavy", aren't they? I am not usually like this. But I've never had a BLOG before! I'm not sure what to write. I have a lot of little thoughts in my little head but I promise you they are not all that intense. I have some light and airy ones, too. I guess I have been hiding in my little hole for way too long. Having no one but Maurice, my fish, and my roses to talk to. (It is okay after all to end I sentence with a preposition). Anyway, Maurice and the roses don't talk back. Even though they are also cartoon characters. Though neither do you for that matter. Are you even there? Is anyone? Oh no. Here I go again...

The little thoughts in my head are not, unfortunately, proof enough of my existence. Not to me, anyway. Even when I set them free in the anything-but-little ether of cyber space. Not even when you see them. Not until you respond to them. You respond therefore I exist. This must be a phase. Some sort of pre-tween existencialist phase. I guess even cartoon characters have those. I'll be nine in August but I am a little premature...

I must admit I miss the crazy Bean. He made me angry and extremely explosive but he provided definete proof for my existence. In my craziest lonely hours I almost believe he was just a product of my little, but fertile, imagination. Because memories are also not enough proof. Memories of people and their actions toward us. Memories are so unreliable. Words or actions. Loving or hateful. Air. Maybe that's why women want babies. Physical undeniable proof. Of love. Of contact. Of existence. I don't want a baby. I'm too little. And they are too loud and need too much attention. I'll settle for a response. One little letter. Is anyone out there?

A Little Stress Goes A Long Way

Do we believe that "the unsuffered life isn't worth living" ? Does little suffering equal little meaning? If that is absolutely not true then why do we turn little mounds into giant hills and little bubbles into giant storms?

I noticed today that 99% of the crazy chaos and pain in my life is self inflicted. But when it came to making the decision to stop inflicting it I was hesitant. And I actually asked myself what would be the point of living if I stopped stressing out about not finding things? And stopped taking everything personally? And stopped expecting my friends to change? We stress about things because we believe they are important. We take things personally because we believe we are important. We expect our friends to change because we believe they are important. And although if nothing were important we wouldn't hurt, if nothing were important NOTHING WOULD BE IMPORTANT!

But I got a little lost somewhere in this argument with myself. The truth is, we like drama. And we are addicted to suffering. But we like easy suffering. And so we place importance on the things we cannot control. That way we kill two beans with one stone: we get suffering without responsibility. It is hard getting up earlier in order to avoid traffic in order to be on time. It is hard keeping my things tidy so that I always find what I'm looking for. It is hard doing my best and being my best, believing and trusting in myself so that insults and high praises don't sway me. These things are hard, they make us suffer and when we fail we are the only ones to blame...

So here's the cake: Suffering AND growth. We can have it and we can eat it, too.

Our Own Little Super Powers

There are so many movies, TV shows, books and stories out there about Super Heroes. People who have "special" or "super" powers. You know? Like flying. Or walking through walls. Reading minds. Disappearing. Making things appear, seemingly, out of thin air. I was watching "Heroes" the other day and I started thinking. Most Super Heroes begin not knowing they have special powers. Then they find out they have powers but don't know how to use them. Or how to control them. They have to learn. Sometimes they have a mentor but most of the time they do it on their own by constantly smacking their noses against walls until they walk through them successfully at will. So, what if we ALL were Super Heroes in that first dormant-power stage?

Because really WE ARE, aren't we? Think about all the times you thought of someone and they called you. Or you wanted something and without knowing someone gave it to you. How about people that lift cars from over their children? Did you ever get unexpected money when you needed it most? I can't even think right now of all the "little" "miracles" and "coincidences" that fill my days, and probably yours, that I just brush aside with a smile and maybe a "that's neat". But really neat would be if these were powers that we HAVE that only need to be developed and controlled. It seems we don't take our time to do it because we think they don't come from us. That someone else is in charge. Like when I was a hot air balloon and thought that someone else was in charge of my navigation.

Anyway, that's all the little. For now.